Author: Hearttress

Some men don’t understand, a woman needs to feel secure in other ways in order for her not to feel like she has to control everything because her man doesn’t care. Further if he can’t even protect then what do you have. You both provide equally and still have to take care of the children on your own while he runs around with his friends and does absolutely nothing at home unless you’re yelling.

How does it come to this, the pain and regrets and looking back you start to think about your career choices and the things you missed out on because of pregnacy and you realize men. Their lack to provide or worse protect has contributed to the pain and mental abuse a woman has to go thru. As a black woman, you try to reason and they dont listen and then when you’re fed up and it turns into a arguement, he starts saying you’re bitter and negative.

If he won’t protect your heart, nerves, energy, or even phyically. Let him go. He don’t love you he love what he does…himself.

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Other people’s energy can be deadly to the point to hate yourself for wanting better for people and being so damn dumb. I dont believe I would be this dumb if there weren’t kids involved. I wouldnt help for over a decade. Especially a person that says family isnt shit is will hold a grudge longer than they can themselves accountable for their own shit. Just messy and miserable and making shit everyone else problem but play boss on social media. Its fucking sick. Here I am with seven kids of my own and two more dumped in my lap while she attempts to make another one and uses the kids safety as the reason they dont stay with her. Meanwhile taking care of this man son and her kids with me. If it wasnt for the kids, I would say fuck it. 12 years of this off and on. What evil fucked up cycle I have allowed in my life. Then behind my back, I am keeping secrets behind her back about her child and I dont treat her kids right but she still leaves them with me. Why god why. I dont understand and I hate this shit. This feeling and further more the nerve to ask if another grown ass man can stay to until they save money while she live with another man. How and why the fuck is this even a thing. I audacity of this grown ass woman.

Not to even put in words how fucking fucked up my five year long relationship is with a man who calls me a gold digging bitch when he’s not in my presence but has never paid more than $500 which is utitlies a month in my fucking household and still dont got shit but blames it on me. Wont defend me, excuses for marrying me which I am perfectly fine with and wont leave and my dumbass had two kids for him thinking he loves me but when shit hits the fan, it fuckkng explode the truth does it not hurt. Oh painfully, but I been getting bits and peices over the years now I am just fucking done.

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I realized how much effort I have been putting into my problems and not enough into my success and I just decided to share my feelings. So I wrote a little quote but I also wanted to put some meaning behind it. You can sot and think about your problems or you can get up and do something about it. Often we sit and think about out problems like it’s a damn soap opera. We have to be more innovative and develop solutions. It’s not about where you or even when. It’s how you start. If you want a solid foundation. You have to build from within first. If you start with you, nothing can be shaken and when you see those same problems coming you will know to move out the way and take control. I tell my children all the time, people will say what they want but its up to you how you respond. Make sure you’re always in the position of reason and able to see the whole picture otherwise you spiral out of control.

This is just a simple note to yourself. Control yourself and you can take control of your life. #theshift #shift #hearttress #poet #testimony