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grieving heart break nightmare

Heart Break Chronicles: Letter to My ex

I hope you’re doing well. Because you were sick when you were with me. Sick in your head to treat someone that would do anything for you like nothing.

I remember tbe night you were talking to your ex and you were talking down about me to her like you talk down about her to me. I remember the laugh and joy she took in hearing about my flaws. I remember how you made me seem like a villain. Altnough she couldn’t recognize that because she was just happy to hear you talk about me. When you told me you hated her, I just knew it was a lie. Who wants to talk to someone they hate unless your hatred was because she didnt want you.

You told me so many lies and I found the truth. I investigated until I found the truth. She left you for a man that was in prison for 20 years. Now that is telling of how she felt in the relationship.  Who wants a man that been in prison sleeping with other men over you. Tben it dawned in me, you were a terrible lover to her to.

All the talking to your female friends and telling them you love them so passionately, but I never felt that same energy. All these things I have to unpack alone. All this drama I never wanted in my life. I was a successful woman making my own way and I allowed you to slow me down. I allowed you to lie to me until I was broken. 

I wanted to tell you in my own way. How much I am hurt inside and still healing. How you transferred that energy on me and walked away unscathed! I want to let it out so I dont have to keep this bottled up inside me anymore. You broke me into a million pieces.

You were my best friend and knew all my secrets and pain. You told me you would never do me how they did me. Let alone you did exactly that.

Your immature, inscure ways and mommy issues got the best of you. You chose to bring pain from your other relationships and use me as a punching bag. You chose to pull my anxiety back out in full force and dismantle me.

But I allowed it so I have to make a way thru it all. That’s all. I am making my way.

-heartbreak chronicles