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Why You

You asked me “”why you”?

It stuck to me, like my skin, like the melanin that flowing freely

and the pain I endure and relive.

Like the doubt and rejection that could stop me dead in my tracks.

I tried to answer but words can not really handle the explanation of that.

Why YOU!?

You’re my constant, my love letter and fantasy my mind fights and tries to dissolve.

You’re the one who wins, or is the idea of you that has flawed?

Is it like something I never had, or are you just a combination of everything I am into?

The level of intimacy goes beyond sexual encounters.

I could have cried when you asked me, but resilience holds too much power.

Why you…

I dont understand myself sometimes, and I study the feeling.

I think I am married to your power,

like you’re something that is in my fingertips, steps, and actions,

my conscious just won’t allow me to let go.

Like I love deep and hard, that’s the heart in me.

Yet, still head strong and stubborn,

Like I can move on with life, and see you happy with someone else and still be there for you.

Like you’re family or like I have an obligation to you.

Like if your water nurtured me, I’d grow weak.

Kind of gives me Hancock vibes,

Like we will never end, but we don’t have a foundation to live on through.

It’s your conversation, upbringing, and heart.

I remember everything when it comes to you.

I can feel how good of a person you truly are.

You blind my pain,

like life doesn’t exist and I have to snap out of it.

Like a good book or movie, I’m in it with you.

I can be in the worst predicament and smile when I think of your face.

My amazing grace in my smile, you know it, when I look at you.

You’re the muse to my art, and the power in my pleasure.

You’re my last chance to feel true love, I’ve chosen…

I’m Hearttress the heart collector.

I love to love and you’re my ultimate forever,

when I say it, I mean it. I’m that honest with myself.

You’re my why, I can live through content with life, no matter what you do. I’ll with time, forgive and we’ll grow from it…better!

I love you…

-Hearttress, from the book Poetically Loving Me, coming soon!

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Rough Drafts

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Poetically loving me

Growth

Decaying love
Eating itself for growth
Like a rose out concrete
Always coming back from the impossible
Not looking for validation or affection
Just strength and the courage to love again
Living solid.
Loving me first before I every leverage my heart again
Auctioning my pain as art
Flipping my negatives to positive
Looking straight past my non sense
And embracing the silver lining
Caring with intent
Observant with purpose
Perplexing how the paradigm of the mind can be your own demise
Your decision
I chose forward
I chose me, myself,  and my seeds
The ability to grow while empty. 
I chose optimism and my own ignorance for bliss.
I chose self love as my happiness.

Categories
Poetically loving me

My Fantasies

You want to know my fantasy
It’s deeper than me
Someone who prays with me then meditates with me and makes love to me . Knows my needs
Explores my body…
My all in one and I’m his everything
Like Wilson sees Ciara
Someone already looking at me and see their forever.
Someone ready to open up in every way
So honest with me even if I feel pain. 
Holding my front back and sides
Sexual desires then activate
When we’re one
My fancy thrives internally…

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Love Rewind

Alluring love
Enduring the sweet ephiany of your sweetest touch
Yes you remind me of another life time.
How else could it be addicting
Falling For what?!
Is it the mirror of our thoughts meeting in a new realm.
Or a seance from the pits of hell…
Calling me sweetly to my demise
The paradigm of the mind never left me blind
Seeing my truth
As I soak in it
As time tells on every love
Spinning the block again
I knew I knew love.
I know I gave it my all
But why are you stuck here
Fuck with my area
With games, lies, and smiles in the moment.
But there is no more tears..m
If I left you alone You would be okay til life fucks you again.
Tell how to I heal you before I do it again.
I know I have to get something else beside affection out of this pain.
You can’t even see me or understand where I’ve gone or if I’m coming within
You just really think you have me whenever you want…
Same lies told the same twice
Turning liars to enemies
Now I walk around with this complex
Boy it’s a trigger for me.✌

From book coming soon…art love self healing and love. Subscribe for updates.

Categories
love

Non Monogamous Relationships in Modern Day Love

I just watched a show where there’s a big increase in non monogamous relationships because the way love is being defined in modern day.

There is a gay and straight woman married but they have separate partners because they have different sexual preferences and desires.

Would you marry your best friend if you could?

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love lust

Triggered Mood…

Imagine being someone’s trigger word for pleasure instead of pain.
Left it all to imagination
Really keeping it on the sidelines
Never putting them in the game
Imagine the smile as I rise
Higher than nine
Reflecting, living in memory lane
What is it about you of all people that makes my mind do tricks
Won’t tell you how I feel but you already know. 
Convinced myself you’re not worth it as my heart hangs on
What kind of hold could have me struggling like this
Is it really love when it lusts like this…
You’re my trigger word as I revisit the way we make love.
Who kisses like this and don’t mean it
Who’s ready to fulfill my fantasies but not need me?
Who’s staying in the background like an app that won’t close. 
Got my whole mind loading slow.
How could you not think of me?
When your name is hitting harder than an epiphany, that’s just crazy. 
How we get here as lovers
Like we leave but come back together loving on each other like we missed the hell out of one another.
The kissing before and after
The love and affection
The jokes and the bullshit lies you tell
Keeping me out my feelings unintentionally but I’m always analyzing and paying attention.

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The eyes can’t measure the belly before I ate so why let them deceive my perception in believing, leads to thinking, Knowing comes to me with my eyes close, blinding the pleasure in pure darkness, give me a moment of silence…goddess…guardian of the underworld, outside the gate of heaven and hell, the transition is thin as lids on the windows to my soul, open your eyes but see with you hung l gunt. Feeling it a little more…