Living beside a war veteran is a journey that most people will never fully understand. From the outside, it may look like a normal life—a home, a routine, shared responsibilities—but behind closed doors, there are invisible battles being fought every single day.
My husband carries the weight of his service long after taking off the uniform. His PTSD doesn’t clock out. It shows up in the middle of the night when he wakes up drenched in sweat from nightmares he can’t escape. It shows up in crowded places where his guard instantly goes up, scanning for danger that isn’t there. It shows up in moments that should be peaceful, yet somehow feel tense and unpredictable.
Sleep is something many people take for granted, but in our home, it’s a constant struggle. His insomnia means nights are long and restless. I often wake up to find him sitting in the dark, unable to quiet his mind. And when he does sleep, it’s fragile—easily broken by memories that refuse to stay in the past. Over time, the lack of rest wears on both of us, mentally and physically.
Then there are the migraines. They come without warning, stealing entire days from him. The pain is so intense that light, sound, even simple conversation becomes unbearable. I’ve learned to recognize the signs early, to dim the lights, to keep the house quiet, to do whatever I can to bring him even a small amount of relief. But sometimes, nothing helps, and all I can do is sit beside him, feeling helpless.
His physical pain is another constant presence. It’s in the way he moves, the way he braces himself before standing, the quiet grimace he tries to hide. It’s not just discomfort—it’s a daily reminder of what his body has endured. There are days when even the simplest tasks feel like mountains, yet he still tries, pushing through more than anyone should have to.
The stomach issues add another layer to this reality. There are foods he avoids, days when he can’t eat, moments when pain interrupts even a quiet meal. It’s unpredictable and frustrating, and it chips away at his quality of life in ways that are hard to explain to others.
As his wife, I’ve learned to adapt, to anticipate, to support—but also to carry my own emotional weight. Loving someone who is hurting means you hurt too, in a different way. It means being strong when they can’t be, patient when things feel overwhelming, and understanding even when you don’t fully understand.
But through all of this, I also see his strength. I see the man who continues to fight every day, not on a battlefield, but within himself. I see his resilience, his courage, and his determination to keep going despite everything stacked against him.
This life isn’t easy. It’s filled with challenges that many will never see. But it’s also filled with love, loyalty, and a deep respect for the sacrifices he has made—and continues to make.
Being the wife of a veteran means standing beside someone who has given so much, and choosing, every day, to walk this path together—no matter how difficult it may be.
Tag: Dreams…
Growth
Decaying love
Eating itself for growth
Like a rose out concrete
Always coming back from the impossible
Not looking for validation or affection
Just strength and the courage to love again
Living solid.
Loving me first before I every leverage my heart again
Auctioning my pain as art
Flipping my negatives to positive
Looking straight past my non sense
And embracing the silver lining
Caring with intent
Observant with purpose
Perplexing how the paradigm of the mind can be your own demise
Your decision
I chose forward
I chose me, myself, and my seeds
The ability to grow while empty.
I chose optimism and my own ignorance for bliss.
I chose self love as my happiness.
My Fantasies
You want to know my fantasy
It’s deeper than me
Someone who prays with me then meditates with me and makes love to me . Knows my needs
Explores my body…
My all in one and I’m his everything
Like Wilson sees Ciara
Someone already looking at me and see their forever.
Someone ready to open up in every way
So honest with me even if I feel pain.
Holding my front back and sides
Sexual desires then activate
When we’re one
My fancy thrives internally…
I just watched a show where there’s a big increase in non monogamous relationships because the way love is being defined in modern day.
There is a gay and straight woman married but they have separate partners because they have different sexual preferences and desires.
Would you marry your best friend if you could?
Imagine being someone’s trigger word for pleasure instead of pain.
Left it all to imagination
Really keeping it on the sidelines
Never putting them in the game
Imagine the smile as I rise
Higher than nine
Reflecting, living in memory lane
What is it about you of all people that makes my mind do tricks
Won’t tell you how I feel but you already know.
Convinced myself you’re not worth it as my heart hangs on
What kind of hold could have me struggling like this
Is it really love when it lusts like this…
You’re my trigger word as I revisit the way we make love.
Who kisses like this and don’t mean it
Who’s ready to fulfill my fantasies but not need me?
Who’s staying in the background like an app that won’t close.
Got my whole mind loading slow.
How could you not think of me?
When your name is hitting harder than an epiphany, that’s just crazy.
How we get here as lovers
Like we leave but come back together loving on each other like we missed the hell out of one another.
The kissing before and after
The love and affection
The jokes and the bullshit lies you tell
Keeping me out my feelings unintentionally but I’m always analyzing and paying attention.
After the Break Up
As a woman you naturally get wrapped up in your man’s dreams, and lose sight of your own and who you are. You end up in a space where you mentally and physically have to start over. You have to figure out who you are.
Then as brave as you are… to turn around and love someone else again or the same person and they repeat the same pattern is pure abuse. Do not lose yourself trying to love him better. Make sure you keep your dreams on the table as well.
I know this happens to men too but I can only write from a woman’s prospective. This isn’t to bash any gender. This is a post make people think and be one with their partner and keep themselves too so relationship it self is built on a healthy foundation.
Power of a Dream…
I levitated and demanded my power! I stood up
And fear abandoned my heart
I demanded power in an empty room and they came
I demanded power in an empty room and they came.
I wasn’t scared
The earth and wind was there
And I am fire
I stromed around for hours
I started off in an empty room
And made them feel my power
I told them who I am
I demanded to own myself
Don’t bother
I took the room
And fought too while standing in power!
To be continued..
