Bell’s Shadow: An Unforeseen Threat
The silence in the house was a living thing, thick with unspoken accusations and the ghosts of shouted words. Anita moved through it like a phantom herself, her steps unnervingly quiet on the polished wood floors. Barry, blessedly, slept soundly in his bassinet, a tiny island of peace in the turbulent sea of Anita’s existence. She tiptoed into the kitchen, the same kitchen where Jim had meticulously planned their perfect life, the same kitchen where he now orchestrated her slow undoing. She’d been looking for Barry’s favorite teething ring, a worn, silicone elephant that seemed to have vanished into thin air. Jim, of course, insisted it had been there yesterday, that she must have put it somewhere illogical, somewhere she’d forgotten. His voice, a silken balm in public, a rasping whip in private, echoed in her memory.
She opened the utensil drawer, its contents perfectly aligned, a testament to her relentless effort to maintain order in a life that felt increasingly chaotic. Not there. She moved to the pantry, a neat row of labeled jars and cans. Nothing. A flicker of annoyance, quickly suppressed, tightened her chest. It was just a teething ring. But its disappearance felt like another tiny chip at the carefully constructed edifice of her life.
Then, she noticed it. A subtle shift in the pattern of the wallpaper near the phone charging station. A section that seemed ever so slightly ajar. Curiosity, a dangerous emotion in this house, pricked at her. She ran a fingertip along the edge. It was a small, almost invisible seam, a tiny flap of paper pulled away from the wall. Behind it, a small cavity.
Her heart gave a jolt, a nervous flutter. She carefully peeled the paper back further. Inside, nestled amongst dust bunnies and forgotten cobwebs, was not the teething ring, but a sleek, black object. A burner phone. It was unfamiliar, devoid of any identifying marks. Her fingers, trembling slightly, brushed against its cool surface. She’d seen phones like this in movies, used for illicit affairs, for clandestine dealings.
A cold dread began to seep into her bones. Jim. Why would Jim have a burner phone hidden in their kitchen? It wasn’t the sort of thing he’d ever mention. His life, as he presented it, was an open book of military service, rehabilitation, and family devotion. This object felt like a secret, a deliberate concealment.
She pulled it out, turning it over in her palm. It was old, scratched, clearly not new. But the battery was still charged. A small icon glowed on the screen: a single, unread message. Her breath hitched. Against every instinct screaming at her to put it back, to pretend she hadn’t seen it, her thumb hovered over the screen.
The message was brief, almost cryptic.
“Still on for Tuesday? Don’t forget the docs. She’s getting suspicious.”
The words hit her like a physical blow. She’s getting suspicious. Who was “she”? And what “docs”? The breath she’d been holding escaped in a shaky sigh. Suspicious of what? Jim’s meticulous control over her life, his constant monitoring of her every move, his insistence on her isolation – it was all designed to prevent any inkling of doubt from taking root. Yet, here was this message, confirming her deepest, most suppressed fears.
Tuesday. What happened on Tuesdays? She wracked her brain, trying to recall any significant appointments or events. Nothing concrete surfaced, only the dull routine of her days, punctuated by Jim’s demands and Barry’s needs. The “docs” – medical documents? Legal papers? The implication was chilling. Jim was involved in something that required secrecy, something that could be exposed.
Her gaze flickered to the phone on the counter, Jim’s personal device, always within reach. He was a creature of habit, of controlled interactions. This burner phone was an anomaly, a stark contradiction to the curated image he so carefully maintained. It suggested a double life, a hidden world that ran parallel to their seemingly perfect domesticity.
She slipped the burner phone into the pocket of her cardigan, the weight of it a physical manifestation of her burgeoning dread. The teething ring was forgotten. A new, more potent search had begun, not for a lost toy, but for the truth that lay buried beneath Jim’s carefully constructed lies. She felt a strange, unsettling clarity descend. The subtle disruptions, the hushed conversations, the way conversations died when she entered a room – it wasn’t her imagination. It was a deliberate strategy, a performance. And she was, unknowingly, a part of the audience, a pawn in a game she hadn’t even known she was playing.
She looked at Barry, still sleeping peacefully. His innocence was a stark contrast to the murky depths she was beginning to glimpse. His future, his safety – these were the thoughts that had always kept her grounded. Now, they propelled her forward, a reluctant investigator into her own life. She needed to understand. She needed to know what Jim was hiding, and why it made him so desperate to keep her in the dark. The message on the burner phone was a thread, small and fragile, but it was enough. She would pull on it, no matter how tightly it was woven into the fabric of Jim’s deceit. The unease that had been a dull ache was sharpening into a keen, focused suspicion. Something was happening, and it involved Jim, secrets, and the unsettling possibility that her carefully managed reality was a carefully crafted cage.
The burner phone, a cheap, black plastic rectangle, felt alien and cold in Anita’s trembling hand. It had been tucked beneath a pile of old grocery flyers in the back of the junk drawer, a place she rarely, if ever, delved. Jim’s oversight, or perhaps deliberate placement, was a cruel irony. She’d been searching for a misplaced set of Barry’s tiny socks, a futile, domestic quest that had led her to this precipice.
The screen glowed faintly, displaying a single, unread text message. The sender was a string of numbers, devoid of any identifying name. The message itself was cryptic, chilling: “Tuesday. The docs. She’s getting suspicious. Need to handle it.”
She. The word echoed in the hollow space where Anita’s heart used to beat with a steady rhythm. Who was she? And what were the docs? A cold dread, sharp and suffocating, seeped into her bones. It wasn’t just the infidelity she’d glimpsed in the photographs and letters earlier; this was something else. Something clandestine, calculated, and potentially dangerous.
Anita sank onto a kitchen stool, the worn linoleum cool beneath her bare feet. Barry was asleep in his crib upstairs, a tiny, innocent island in the storm that was brewing around him. She clutched the phone, her knuckles white. The sheer ordinariness of the kitchen – the gleaming stainless steel appliances Jim had insisted on, the cheerful ceramic fruit bowl on the counter, the faint scent of lemons from the dish soap – felt like a mocking testament to the life she believed she was living. Now, it all felt like a meticulously constructed stage set, designed to conceal a rot beneath.
Her mind raced, trying to piece together the fragments of Jim’s recent behavior. The hushed phone calls he’d take in the other room, his voice a low murmur that ceased abruptly when she entered. The times he’d left the house with a sudden, urgent purpose, returning hours later with a forced casualness that now screamed of deception. The way he’d brush off her questions about his day with vague assurances about “work” or “paperwork.”
The docs. Was it related to his disability claims? He’d always been so secretive about them, the paperwork a mountain he had to scale with her supposed assistance, though he rarely let her see the details. Or was it something more sinister? A financial maneuver? A legal entanglement? The possibilities, each more unsettling than the last, swirled like a vortex.
And she’s getting suspicious. The implication was clear: Jim was aware of someone’s growing suspicion, and he was actively trying to manage it. Was it Anita? Or was it someone else entirely, someone connected to this shadowy “Tuesday” and these opaque “docs”? The paranoia, once a faint whisper in the back of her mind, now roared like a tidal wave, threatening to drown her.
Anita’s gaze drifted to the overflowing junk drawer. She’d always considered it a harmless repository of minor irritations, a place where the odds and ends of domestic life congregated. Now, it felt like a Pandora’s Box. What else was hidden there? What other secrets had Jim carelessly left scattered, assuming she would never look?
A memory surfaced, sharp and unwelcome: Jim’s dismissive tone when she’d asked about a small rash on Barry’s leg a few weeks ago. He’d waved away her concerns, calling her overly anxious, projecting her own worries onto their son. “You need to trust me, Anita,” he’d said, his eyes cool and steady. “I’ll handle it. You just need to be the calming presence.” At the time, she’d accepted his word, her own maternal instincts dulled by years of his subtle erosion of her confidence. Now, that dismissiveness felt like a calculated maneuver to keep her in the dark, to prevent her from seeing the truth he was so desperately trying to conceal.
Her fingers traced the raised numbers on the burner phone. The absurdity of it all hit her then. Jim, the decorated veteran, the pillar of the community, the loving husband and father, was using a secret phone and meeting about documents, all while his wife grew suspicious. The carefully constructed narrative of their perfect life was not just flawed; it was a lie. A deep, chasm-sized lie.
She stood up, a new resolve hardening in her chest. The fear was still present, a cold knot in her stomach, but it was now tempered with a fierce, protective anger. Barry. It always came back to Barry. She couldn’t let him grow up in a house built on secrets and deceit. She wouldn’t.
Her eyes scanned the kitchen again, this time with a different purpose. Not for lost socks, but for clues. Every object, every surface, every shadow now seemed to hold a potential revelation. She walked over to Jim’s briefcase, which he’d left carelessly by the back door after returning from his supposed “business” trip. It was closed, locked even, but the metallic sheen of the latches seemed to beckon.
She remembered the way he always kept it close, the almost territorial way he guarded it. He’d always said it contained sensitive work-related documents, things she wouldn’t understand. But what if it contained more than just work? What if it held the missing pieces of the puzzle, the truth about “Tuesday,” the “docs,” and the identity of the “she” who was getting suspicious?
Anita’s heart hammered against her ribs. This was a dangerous path. Jim was unpredictable, his temper a volatile force she had learned to navigate with extreme caution. But the image of Barry’s innocent face, the weight of the burner phone in her hand, propelled her forward. She had to know. She had to understand the full extent of the rot, so she could begin to dismantle it.
She knelt beside the briefcase, her breath catching in her throat. The lock was a simple combination, a three-digit code she’d never bothered to learn, assuming it was for his eyes only. But as she ran her fingers over the cold metal, a faint, almost imperceptible scratch mark caught her eye. It was near the number ‘7’. A memory, hazy but persistent, surfaced. Jim, fumbling with the lock late one night, muttering about needing to remember the date… the date of his discharge? No, something else. Something that had happened in the summer, before Barry was born. She tried to recall the specific date, the significance of it, but it eluded her.
Then, another faint scratch, near the number ‘3’. And finally, a subtle discoloration around the number ‘1’. 7-3-1. It was a desperate guess, a shot in the dark, but it felt… right. A strange intuition, long dormant, stirred within her. Taking a deep, shaky breath, Anita began to dial the numbers. The click of each tumbler was deafening in the silence of the house.
The lock gave way with a soft, almost apologetic click. The briefcase sprang open.
Inside, nestled amongst neatly organized folders and what looked like military discharge papers, were more photographs. Not just of Jim and Bell, but of Bell holding a different baby, a little girl with bright, curious eyes. And beneath them, tucked into a side pocket, was a thin, unmarked envelope. Her fingers, slick with a sudden sweat, fumbled as she opened it. Inside, a single sheet of paper. It was a court document. A temporary restraining order, filed by Bell, against… Jim. And an affidavit detailing the alleged abuse Jim had inflicted upon her.
Anita stared at the words, her mind struggling to process the implications. Bell wasn’t just a mistress; she was a victim. And Jim, her Jim, was the abuser. The carefully constructed lie had not only fractured; it had revealed a monstrous truth beneath, a truth far more terrifying than she could have ever imagined. The world tilted, and for a moment, Anita felt herself falling into an abyss of disbelief and horror. The burner phone, the photographs, the restraining order – they were not just pieces of evidence; they were shards of a shattered reality, each one cutting deeper than the last. The suspicion had solidified into a chilling certainty. Jim was not just hiding an affair; he was hiding a life of deceit and violence. And Anita, blinded for so long, was now seeing it all, stark and unforgiving.
Tag: cheating
War Ready Novel
The Veteran’s Return and the Facade
The gravel crunched under Jim’s boots, a sound that once signaled homecoming, a comfort. Now, it was a prelude to the slow tightening of the air in their shared space, the subtle shift in atmosphere that Anita had learned to anticipate with a sickening lurch in her gut. He was home. The scent of antiseptic and something metallic, the residue of his service, clung to him. He stood on the porch, silhouetted against the late afternoon sun, a figure etched with the stoic lines of a hero. He held a small, wrapped gift, a peace offering, she suspected, before the real demands began.
Anita smoothed down the simple cotton dress she wore, her hands trembling almost imperceptibly. She’d spent the afternoon meticulously cleaning, arranging, preparing for his return as if orchestrating a play where she was the dutiful understudy, forever on standby for his approval. Barry, their one-year-old son, was down for his nap, his soft snores a fragile counterpoint to the drumming anxiety in Anita’s chest. She’d arranged his favorite teddy bear within reach, a silent prayer that his slumber would remain undisturbed.
Jim stepped inside, shedding his uniform jacket with practiced economy. He surveyed the entryway, his gaze lingering a fraction too long on the faint scuff mark near the shoe rack. Anita’s breath hitched. Had she missed it? Had she failed to erase every imperfection?
“Rough day, soldier?” she asked, her voice a little too bright, a little too eager. She hated the sound of it, the desperate need to please that bled through.
Jim offered a tight smile, the kind that didn’t reach his eyes. He placed the gift on the polished mahogany table. “The usual. Bureaucracy. Endless meetings.” He paused, his eyes finally settling on her. “You look tired, Anita.”
It wasn’t a question of concern, but an observation loaded with judgment. You’re not managing. You’re failing.
“I’ve been busy,” she offered, taking a tentative step towards him. “Barry slept well, and I managed to get ahead on some laundry.”
He grunted, a noncommittal sound that dismissed her efforts. He walked past her, his gait deliberate, his presence filling the house with a heavy, unspoken expectation. Anita followed, trailing in his wake like a shadow. He went directly to the living room, sinking into the worn leather armchair that was his throne.
“Pour me a drink, would you? Something strong.”
She moved to the bar cart, her movements precise, almost robotic. She measured the whiskey, her hand steady now, a practiced grace born of repetition. She’d learned to compartmentalize, to compartmentalize the fear, the resentment, the simmering dread. It was the only way to survive.
He took the glass, his fingers brushing hers as she handed it over. A jolt, not of pleasure, but of recognition. The familiar tension coiled in her stomach. He stared into the amber liquid, his brow furrowed in a display of profound weariness.
“You know,” he began, his voice a low rumble, “my guys, they rely on me. They look to me for strength. For leadership.” He took a long sip. “Can’t have them seeing me… distracted. Or worse, unsupported.”
The implication hung in the air, sharp and suffocating. You are my distraction. You are not supporting me.
“I’m always here for you, Jim,” she said, her voice soft.
He chuckled, a dry, rasping sound. “Are you, Anita? Sometimes I wonder.” He set the glass down with a thud. “You’ve been a little… preoccupied lately. Distant.”
Her heart leaped into her throat. Preoccupied? Distant? Was he talking about the fleeting moments she’d allowed herself to drift, to dream of a life beyond the confines of their meticulously constructed reality? The stolen minutes spent gazing out the window, imagining a different horizon?
“No, Jim. Never,” she lied, her gaze fixed on the intricate pattern of the rug. “I’m just… I want things to be right. For you.”
He leaned forward, his gaze intensifying. “Right? What’s not right, Anita? I come home, I’m provided for. The house is clean. You’re here. What more do you want?”
The question was a trap, designed to expose her supposed ingratitude, her insatiable demands. She knew the script. Any hint of dissatisfaction, any deviation from the path he’d laid out, would be twisted, used against her.
“Nothing, Jim. I want nothing more than what we have.” She forced a smile, hoping it looked convincing.
He studied her for a long moment, his eyes probing, dissecting. She felt stripped bare, exposed to his scrutiny. He seemed to be searching for cracks in her composure, for any sign of rebellion.
“Good,” he finally said, leaning back again. “Because this is all there is. This is what I fought for. This stability. This peace.” He gestured vaguely around the room, as if encompassing their entire life within that sweep of his hand. “Don’t you forget that, Anita. Don’t ever forget how lucky you are.”
The gift remained on the table, untouched. She knew she should open it, acknowledge his gesture. But the weight of his words, the subtle threat woven into his pronouncements of gratitude, pressed down on her. She picked it up, her fingers tracing the crisp edges of the paper.
“What is it, Jim?” she asked, her voice barely a whisper.
He waved a dismissive hand. “Just… something. A token. For keeping the home fires burning.”
She unwrapped it slowly. Inside, nestled in tissue paper, was a delicate silver bracelet, simple and elegant. It was beautiful. And it was meaningless. It was a distraction, a pacifier, a symbol of his calculated generosity that only served to remind her of her gilded cage.
“It’s lovely,” she managed, her voice flat. She fastened it around her wrist, the cool metal a stark contrast to the warmth of her own skin. It felt like a handcuff.
He watched her, a faint smirk playing on his lips. “See? Not so hard, is it? A little effort, a little appreciation, and everything runs smoothly.” He stood up, stretching his arms above his head. “I need to go see my mother. She’s been asking about me.”
Anita’s shoulders slumped slightly. His mother. Another member of the jury, always ready to cast him as the martyr and her as the ungrateful wife.
“Of course,” she said, already bracing herself for the inevitable phone call later, the veiled criticisms, the carefully worded concerns that always circled back to Anita’s perceived failings.
He grabbed his keys from the entryway table, pausing at the door. “And Anita,” he said, his voice dropping to a confidential tone, as if sharing a profound secret, “don’t let Barry get too… demanding. Kids need discipline. They need to know who’s in charge.”
Her heart constricted. Barry. Her beautiful, innocent Barry. The one pure thing in her life. The thought of Jim’s rigid control, his volatile temper, being applied to their son sent a tremor of fear through her.
“He’s a good boy, Jim,” she said, her voice firm, a rare spark of defiance flickering.
He met her gaze, his eyes hard. “They all start out good, Anita. It’s what you do with them. How you shape them.” He opened the door. “Don’t forget your role.”
And then he was gone, the door closing with a soft click that echoed in the sudden silence. Anita stood in the hall, the silver bracelet a cold weight on her wrist. She looked around the pristine living room, the meticulously arranged cushions, the polished surfaces. It was a perfect picture. A perfect lie.
She walked to the window, her reflection staring back at her, a pale, strained face framed by the neatly parted hair. She traced the outline of the bracelet with her finger. This was the beginning. The subtle erosion of her self, the slow, insidious chipping away at her spirit. He had returned, and with him, the suffocating embrace of his carefully constructed reality. She was home, in her perfect house, with her perfect husband, and she had never felt more alone. The facade was flawless, but beneath its gleaming surface, the cracks were beginning to form. She just didn’t know it yet. She was a dutiful wife, a silent observer in her own life, her every action dictated by the need to maintain a peace that was perpetually on the verge of shattering. The subtle manipulation, the veiled criticisms, the constant need for validation – it was a dance she was learning, a waltz with a demon disguised as a hero. Her only solace was the quiet slumber of her son, the gentle rise and fall of his chest a testament to an innocence that she desperately hoped would remain untouched by the storm gathering within these walls.
The click of the front door, a sound that had once signified homecoming and comfort, now echoed with a hollow finality in the quiet house. Jim’s car was a distant rumble fading into the evening, leaving Anita in the sudden, suffocating silence. Barry was asleep upstairs, a small, soft weight in her arms, a living testament to a love that felt impossibly pure in a world increasingly tainted. She stroked his downy hair, the scent of warm milk and innocence a stark contrast to the metallic tang of fear that had settled in her own throat. “Shaped.” The word, spoken with Jim’s infuriatingly calm certainty, burrowed into her thoughts like a splinter. Shaped. As if Barry were clay, to be molded and hardened into whatever image Jim deemed fit. She held him tighter, a primal instinct to shield him from the encroaching shadows.
She walked into the living room, the meticulously arranged cushions and the dust-free surfaces feeling like a stage set. The silver bracelet lay heavy in the palm of her hand, its cool, smooth surface a stark contradiction to the knot of anxiety tightening in her chest. A token. It felt more like a shackle, a glittering reminder of her gilded cage. Jim’s words, laced with the subtle venom of his possessiveness, replayed in her mind. Don’t forget your role. Her role. Wife. Mother. Keeper of the facade. And beneath it all, the silent recipient of his thinly veiled criticisms and the simmering dissatisfaction that always seemed to emanate from him.
She looked around the room, the same room she’d painstakingly curated to reflect an image of contented domesticity. The framed photographs on the mantelpiece – Jim in his uniform, a proud smile on his face; them at their wedding, radiating a joy that felt like a distant memory; Barry as a cherubic baby – all contributed to the carefully constructed narrative. But now, each image felt like a lie, a carefully placed piece of evidence in a case she hadn’t realized she was building against herself. The perfect house, the perfect husband, the perfect child. It was all a performance, and she was the lead actress, desperately trying to remember her lines, her movements, her very essence, lest she break character and shatter the illusion.
She gently placed Barry in his crib, his small hand instinctively grasping her finger as he settled into a deeper sleep. The quiet rustle of his breathing was a balm, a whisper of normalcy in the encroaching chaos. She stood there for a long moment, watching him, the fierce, protective surge in her chest a new and potent sensation. This was it. This was the core of it all. Not the appeasing of Jim, not the placating of his family, not the maintaining of appearances. It was Barry. His innocence, his vulnerability, his absolute dependence on her.
She moved to the kitchen, the clean countertops gleaming under the soft overhead light. Jim’s glass, still bearing the faint residue of his preferred whiskey, sat on the counter. She picked it up, the weight of it feeling substantial, a symbol of his presence even in his absence. He had accused her of being distant, of not wanting things to be “right.” But what was “right”? His skewed reality? His constant need for validation? His subtle ways of chipping away at her confidence, her sanity? She remembered the early days, the whirlwind romance that had swept her off her feet. Jim, the hero returning from duty, bearing the scars of service, the quiet strength, the charm that had captivated everyone. She had been so eager to be the supportive wife, to create a haven for him, to make their life a testament to his sacrifice and resilience.
It had started subtly, as it always did. A suggestion about her dress sense, a comment about her friendships, a gentle redirection of her career aspirations. Then came the patronizing tone, the questioning of her memory, the implication that her emotional responses were exaggerated or irrational. She’d learned to tread carefully, to anticipate his moods, to smooth over any potential discord. She’d learned to nod and agree, to swallow her own feelings and prioritize his perceived needs. She’d convinced herself it was love, that this was the natural ebb and flow of a marriage, especially with a man who had endured so much.
But lately, the cracks had become more pronounced. The way his eyes would harden when she dared to voice an opinion that differed from his. The coldness that would descend when she expressed a need he deemed inconvenient. The way he would twist her words, making her question her own intentions. She remembered a conversation just last week, about a new book club she’d wanted to join. He’d listened with that unnerving stillness, his gaze fixed somewhere beyond her, before delivering his verdict. “I just don’t think you have the time for that, Anita. You have so much on your plate here. And frankly, I worry about you getting… involved in things. It’s better to keep our circle small, wouldn’t you agree?” The unspoken implication hung heavy in the air: Don’t seek fulfillment outside of me. Don’t find your own voice. Stay here, where I can control it.
And she had agreed. Of course, she had. Because the alternative was a scene, a prolonged period of simmering resentment from him that would leave her walking on eggshells for days. The bracelet, now cold in her hand, felt like a physical manifestation of that agreement. The constant effort to keep him placid, to maintain the fragile peace, had become her primary occupation. She had become so adept at anticipating his needs, at deflecting his criticisms, that she’d started to lose track of her own desires, her own thoughts. Her world had shrunk to the confines of their home, her interactions limited to the carefully curated circle Jim allowed.
She rinsed his glass, the water swirling down the drain, taking with it a small portion of the guilt that had been a constant companion. Guilt for not being enough, for not doing enough, for not being the wife he apparently envisioned. But what was it that she wasn’t? He had a beautiful home, a devoted son, a wife who catered to his every whim. He had the respect of his family, the sympathy of the community. What more could he possibly want? The answer, she was beginning to suspect, was not about what he wanted, but about what he needed to control.
She found herself drawn to the window, peering out into the darkened backyard. The night was still, the stars distant and indifferent. There was a profound loneliness in this perfectly appointed house. A loneliness that gnawed at her from the inside out. Jim’s carefully constructed narrative was designed to isolate her, to convince her that her feelings were invalid, that her perception of reality was flawed. He’d chipped away at her self-worth so meticulously, so systematically, that she’d begun to believe him. She was becoming a shadow of the woman she once was, her spirit slowly eroding under the constant pressure of his manipulation.
But as she stood there, the weight of Barry’s small hand still a phantom sensation in her own, a flicker of defiance ignited within her. It was a tiny spark, barely perceptible, but it was there. Jim had left her with a warning, a veiled threat about Barry. He had sought to instill fear, to reinforce her subservient role. But instead, he had inadvertently ignited something else. A fierce protectiveness, a primal urge to safeguard her child from the darkness that threatened to engulf them both. The bracelet felt heavier now, not a shackle, but a burden she was no longer willing to carry. Her role was not to be a silent prop in Jim’s carefully constructed play. Her role, she realized with a dawning clarity, was to protect Barry, and to do that, she had to dismantle the illusion, piece by painstaking piece. The erosion wasn’t complete. Not yet. And in that realization, a fragile, yet unyielding, sense of purpose began to bloom.
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I just watched a show where there’s a big increase in non monogamous relationships because the way love is being defined in modern day.
There is a gay and straight woman married but they have separate partners because they have different sexual preferences and desires.
Would you marry your best friend if you could?
I’ve had my fair share of friendships and love. Somehow my friendships are growing into something deeper than I thought. All five men that I fell in love with are currently attempting to rekindle something that there is no coming back from. Being single has made the exploration of such conversations easier to take part in. Im just wondering what went wrong in their life that they are all back. One back to marry me, one back that is married that wants me to be his spiritual husband which is totally weird , and the others are lingering around attempting acts of kindness that they believe will win my heart again. Some time men don’t understand. There is no coming back from where we been. The embarrassing backstories behind these men will be featured in a book called Poetically Loving Me. Not only touching on the bad things but hopefully taking heed to the good things. An attempt to tell men how to love a woman who is head strong and sensitive. How to make sure she caters to you in the same ways you’re attempting to love her. Of course, I’ve made mistakes but there is nothing in any relationship I’ve been in that I’d take back. I gave 100% of me and I can’t say I cheated them from anything. I made sure they grew and gave them the freedom to be themselves and be successful within themselves. The effects come back to huant me now and will be touched in Poetically Loving Me, coming soon!
