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grieving heart break nightmare

Heart Break Chronicles: Letter to My ex

I hope you’re doing well. Because you were sick when you were with me. Sick in your head to treat someone that would do anything for you like nothing.

I remember tbe night you were talking to your ex and you were talking down about me to her like you talk down about her to me. I remember the laugh and joy she took in hearing about my flaws. I remember how you made me seem like a villain. Altnough she couldn’t recognize that because she was just happy to hear you talk about me. When you told me you hated her, I just knew it was a lie. Who wants to talk to someone they hate unless your hatred was because she didnt want you.

You told me so many lies and I found the truth. I investigated until I found the truth. She left you for a man that was in prison for 20 years. Now that is telling of how she felt in the relationship.  Who wants a man that been in prison sleeping with other men over you. Tben it dawned in me, you were a terrible lover to her to.

All the talking to your female friends and telling them you love them so passionately, but I never felt that same energy. All these things I have to unpack alone. All this drama I never wanted in my life. I was a successful woman making my own way and I allowed you to slow me down. I allowed you to lie to me until I was broken. 

I wanted to tell you in my own way. How much I am hurt inside and still healing. How you transferred that energy on me and walked away unscathed! I want to let it out so I dont have to keep this bottled up inside me anymore. You broke me into a million pieces.

You were my best friend and knew all my secrets and pain. You told me you would never do me how they did me. Let alone you did exactly that.

Your immature, inscure ways and mommy issues got the best of you. You chose to bring pain from your other relationships and use me as a punching bag. You chose to pull my anxiety back out in full force and dismantle me.

But I allowed it so I have to make a way thru it all. That’s all. I am making my way.

-heartbreak chronicles

Categories
Poetically loving me

ABCs of My Queen poem

Just her…unfiltered pain, smile wiping the image away. Higher like the priest made…standing holier than the demon slayed. Powerful in the belief of me. A balance as perfect as earth’s tilt from disaster, in a blink. It’s her, the one they’d misunderstand and play. Unbeknownst to them, nothingness wills their ways…no energy for it. A cycle like and infinity 8, a thousand times more resiliency than their agendas could pay. Just her making her peace, with all the flaws and lessons she reaps…convicting aura of unconditional rays, vibrating light-years into the paradigm of self governed space….she is everything she said she would be….Hearttress…the heart collecting mence, gaslighting greatness, intellect, and beauty in her name…
By Hafina Jones aka Hearttress
May 7th, 2022
“ABCs of My Queen” Coming Soon

Categories
Poetically loving me

My Fantasies

You want to know my fantasy
It’s deeper than me
Someone who prays with me then meditates with me and makes love to me . Knows my needs
Explores my body…
My all in one and I’m his everything
Like Wilson sees Ciara
Someone already looking at me and see their forever.
Someone ready to open up in every way
So honest with me even if I feel pain. 
Holding my front back and sides
Sexual desires then activate
When we’re one
My fancy thrives internally…

Categories
love

Non Monogamous Relationships in Modern Day Love

I just watched a show where there’s a big increase in non monogamous relationships because the way love is being defined in modern day.

There is a gay and straight woman married but they have separate partners because they have different sexual preferences and desires.

Would you marry your best friend if you could?

Categories
Poetically loving me

Truth is…

I could never leave 

But I will let you live

 A whole lifetime without me

Lost at your own discretion

Never to mention

The energy, I’m gifted

Never alone sweetheart

This is my preference.

I am sitting on genius

I don’t have time to listen

Ignorance is a bliss

So I choose my intelligence

Categories
Poetically loving me

Becoming…

Passionate kisses 

Formulates this compassion I been missing

Kind of healing

With some amnesia 

I start forgetting all my problems and everything that stresses me

Like your lips are my holy place

And I can feel in every kiss 

You’re blessing me

Rising more than my high to climax

I feel you 

Kissing and licking around my lips slowly

Opening your eyes to see

It’s me 

Kissing like a beast gently 

Leading me with your hands

This tight hold you have on me

How can I forget this feeling

As we collide at this opening 

I ask myself do you mean it, like I do

Is this moment everything like I’m thinking right now

Like we want to eat each other 

It’s the wanting

Of you inside me and you wanting in

Kissing our way into  love making…

Mixing ourselves within one another

Gracefully becoming one with a kiss

Categories
Poetically loving me

Hey…where are you?

Hey love, where are you these days?

Are you thinking about me when you’re away

Did you forget my heart is at home

Waiting for you to stimulate

My love

Hey love, I’m talking to you,

Did you forget strong women need love too

Did you realize you are my night and day

My ups and down

My doubts and pain

Hey love, 

I know it’s been a while but talk

Do i even have your heart

Do you think for me fore as I being to think

The pain that floods my eyes

Are we linked

Hey love

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Categories
Uncategorized

Moon in ♏ Scorpio New book Poetically Loving Me

I’ve had my fair share of friendships and love. Somehow my friendships are growing into something deeper than I thought. All five men that I fell in love with are currently attempting to rekindle something that there is no coming back from. Being single has made the exploration of such conversations easier to take part in. Im just wondering what went wrong in their life that they are all back. One back to marry me, one back that is married that wants me to be his spiritual husband which is totally weird , and the others are lingering around attempting acts of kindness that they believe will win my heart again. Some time men don’t understand. There is no coming back from where we been. The embarrassing backstories behind these men will be featured in a book called Poetically Loving Me. Not only touching on the bad things but hopefully taking heed to the good things. An attempt to tell men how to love a woman who is head strong and sensitive. How to make sure she caters to you in the same ways you’re attempting to love her. Of course, I’ve made mistakes but there is nothing in any relationship I’ve been in that I’d take back. I gave 100% of me and I can’t say I cheated them from anything. I made sure they grew and gave them the freedom to be themselves and be successful within themselves. The effects come back to huant me now and will be touched in Poetically Loving Me, coming soon!